even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
