You work out of a Hotel?
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Randomize
