My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
