let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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