...so i touched it.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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