i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
