I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Randomize
