does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
