remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
