I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
