i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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