Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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