the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
