you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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