maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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