Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I wear drunk well.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
