btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
