So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
