Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
