tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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