I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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