i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize