The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
There are leaves in my underwear?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
