Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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