I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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