She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
17 year olds will be the death of me.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
