he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
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