i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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