I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
