Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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