i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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