im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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