i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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