i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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