I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
