I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
did i just pee glitter
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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