ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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