I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
