He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
