i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
