The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
