sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
