I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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