No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Boobs speak an international language.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
