i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
