if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
