I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
