If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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