How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
