last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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