Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
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