Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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