Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I believe in your delicious
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
