If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
this is an emotional support booty call
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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