He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
