Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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