my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
