check it out our google latitudes are spooning
you didnt know i had herpes?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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