i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Randomize
