Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
