Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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