the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
