I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
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