There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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