Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
