under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
