This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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