From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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