I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
