Swine flu. Run for my life!
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
