the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
