just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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