i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
